So close...so very close

I tried a new recipe for brownies this weekend. It was a flourless recipe which really sounded interesting. Plus it used PB2. I had some of that for a year now and haven't used it once. So I thought why not. Well they really weren't that great. They were almost spongy and didn't have that cake like taste of regular brownies. The PB2 didn't make it very peanut buttery either like I thought it would. I mean I've eaten 3 so it's not like they were so bad I didn't want to eat them but they weren't the greatest. Actually Stephan and Dallin hated them. I wouldn't say they were that bad (like I said I ate 3 in one day) but I probably won't be making them again. It's interesting...I think that was the first recipe I made from that website that I didn't love. Everything else has been amazing! 

I started my half marathon training last Monday (the 14th). I do Crossfit on Tuesdays and Fridays, short runs on Mondays and Thursdays and my long run on Saturday's. My short runs are 3 miles last week and this week. 3 miles is nice. Easy enough to get in early in the mornings; even if it means running on the treadmill one of those days. My long run was 4 miles. Each week it will go up until I hit 12 miles the week before the race. For my long run this week I decided I wanted to try to get better at running up hill. The one way to do that around here is to master Elk Ridge Drive. That's the long 2 mile road from the State Road to Elk Ridge City. The main problem with it is it's steep. It's a gentle hill at first but then the last mile is harder; with the last half a mile being the worst. Most of the elevation is gained in the last half mile. In the winter it's where the snow line hits...that's how much of an elevation change there is! 

Anyway I parked at the school which is at the half way mark up the road. I was going to run up to the top (1 mile), run down (2 miles) and then run back up to the school (1 mile). I figured I'd run the worst part first  instead of last. One of these days, if I start doing out and back runs it may be last but to start with I just wanted to be able to finish it. So I took on the hardest part first and believe me it felt hard. Right away. I made it to about 3/4 of the mile up. I could see the top of the road, the top of the hill but I just couldn't go any further. I was so mad but at the same time happy with as far as I made it. So I walked the rest of the 1/4 mile to the top. I turned around and ran the 2 miles down. I haven't run that road in a while and forgot about how steep it can be at times. I also forgot about how busy it is, even at 7am on a Saturday. There's no sidewalk or even side of the road so when cars come you have to run in the dirt. I hate that, worry all the time I'm going to step in a hole or something but what are going to do. Anyway, I made it down the hill and felt spent. I wondered if there was any way I could turn around and run that last mile up the hill to my car. I really was worried but I turned around at the bottom and started running back up. 

Like I said, it's a gradual uphill at the bottom so it didn't seem so bad at first. After awhile I started getting tired. I could feel my legs hurting already. Just about then a song came on; one I like, one that has a great beat and I just started focusing on the song. I focused on the song so much that it almost seemed like my legs got into the rhythm. Like they weren't a part of me anymore they were doing their own thing. And they were carrying me up  the road to the school. I made it to the school with no problem. When I finished I was so happy!! Even with walking 1/4 mile at the beginning I still felt good about the rest of the run. I'm getting so much better at running hills! My total time was 41 minutes for 4 miles. Not the best time but good when you realize the first mile took me 13 minutes. :-) 

I was really happy. And I wondered when I was going to get a chance to take a stab at that road again. I'm going to beat it one of these days. I'm going to win. It may be slow going up, but one day I will run the whole way up Elk Ridge Drive. And you know what? I know I will because I've come this far already. 

2 1/2 years ago I was over 220 lbs and could barely walk a mile without getting winded. I've come a long way. 

Fashion Show

Well Friday was the fashion show. I was so worried about it! The night before I didn't sleep well at all. I just kept thinking about how my arms and legs were going to look to everyone. Friday morning I went to the gym and worked my butt off. It was like a last ditch effort to tone my arms and legs. I'd been working out those areas the last couple weeks but thought maybe I could do a little more that morning. When I got home I made the mistake of getting on the scale. 161.5 lbs! I was so upset. I know I haven't been that great with counting my calories (I've been going over a little every day) but I didn't think I'd been doing that bad! And I'd been running and working out every day. I felt deflated. I felt like "why even try". And it showed in my food choices the rest of the day. I wasn't the best eater that day at all.

Come 5:30 it was time to go to the running shop for the show. My stomach hurt. I kept trying to tell myself it would be fine and I wish I'd listened because it really was. I went there, they took me in the back, showed me what I'd be wearing (capri's and a short sleeve shirt-perfect), found me some shoes and then I sat in this room with the other "models". They were all really nice. Very down to earth people. No one was totally thin and trim and "the perfect body". It was so nice! Just normal every day runners. A few of them were talking about runs they'd done the last weekend and ones that were coming up the next day. It was fun to listen to. A whole room of runners! I just sat and listened. Then when the time came all we had to do was walk do the isle, get up on this stool, show our clothes, then get down and walk out. It was easy and there were only about 20 people there which made it even easier.

Afterwards Kim and I went out to dinner (Leah was staying the night with Karen). I was on cloud nine! I was so happy I'd put myself out there and said yes to that. It really a lot of fun and I enjoyed being out of my comfort zone for just a big. Plus the free stuff we got for doing it was a really nice long sleeve running shirt and running socks. I was really excited for the running socks. I'd wanted some but never could spend $12 on one pair of socks. I couldn't wait to try them out. I wasn't planning on running Saturday but with the new shirt and socks I really wanted to!

That night after dinner we stopped at got some frozen yogurt. I decided this was going to be my last day for going overboard with my food. Starting tomorrow I would really give counting calories a chance. I would see if I stayed on track could I loose weight this way. And it meant counting fruits and veggies too. So I ate my Chinese food and my frozen yogurt with a little more appreciation of what I was eating-knowing the next day I would be back on track.

Saturday morning Kim and I slept in until 8am. He got up to do some things and I put my new running stuff on. I decided to do a 4 mile run with some hills in it. Bad hills at the end too but that was the challenge of it! I drove to the spot, walked the 1/4 mile to the where I wanted to start and took off. Well about 2 miles into it I thought I was going to die! My body felt so heavy! All the terrible food choices I'd made the day before felt like they were all in a backpack on my back weighing me down. I decided again I needed to get back on track and eat better. I could have bad foods (aka fast food) but I needed to cut it back (we were going out a lot lately) and watch what else I ate before and after the fast food.

I ended up walking around 2.50 miles. I walked a couple blocks and then took off again. I hated how heavy I felt. And also my long sleeves were going to be the death of me! It was warm already at 8:30 am...a lot warmer than I thought. When I rounded the last corner I was coming up on the last 3/4 mile and the hardest part. I made it up probably 80% of the hill on that road. I stopped twice-once for 1 minute and once for 1.5 minutes. I was determined to run up the hill as much as I could and I did.

I was really happy about my run. And I was feeling really good about counting calories; about being able to stay on track. And I have. Saturday I was under, yesterday I was only off by about 50 and today I've kept on track too. I have a meeting today and they usually feed us dinner so I've already figured out my points for that meal (they feed us pretty much the same thing each time). I even left some wiggle room.

My run this morning was great too. I slept in and then took Leah to the gym daycare around 10am and ran around Salem. It felt so good to run in the morning, after I'd had some time to walk around and get stretched out. My time was good even with some hills and some uphill roads. I'm down to a 10 minute mile-less than that if it's mostly downhill. I want so bad to beat my last half marathon time but really I'm just excited about training again and maybe getting back into shape. Today was day 1 of my 10 week training. Day 1 down...many more to go. :-)

Hiking the Y & making memories

I think if I could I would run outside every day instead of doing any other kind of exercise. I really like running outside. Unfortunately it's usually dark when I exercise in the morning. I can run on Saturday mornings but usually that's the only morning I can. This week I've taken a few days off for Spring Break and Kim decided to take today off too. So this morning I didn't wake up until 7am to exercise...and it felt great! I walked to the top of Elk Ridge and then ran down and around town some. I tried to do as much downhill but I tried to be careful so I wouldn't have massive amounts of uphill when I was done. I ran uphill a few times and was happy with myself for making it as much as I did. I really hate running uphill but I need to get better at it.

I felt good pretty much the whole run (was a little over 3 miles of running and just under 1 mile of walking total). It was nice. And the sun was up so I could see the valley while I ran...It was just really nice. I was thinking how nice it would be to be able to get up at 7am every morning and run. :-) I think I could get use to it. But unfortunately I have to work Wednesday and Friday and even though I've taken Thursday off too I won't be able to run because Kim will be at work. Since schools out I'm thinking of sleeping in again (woot woot) and then going over to the school track with Leah around 9 or 10 am. Then I can run around the track and up and down the bleachers. I can bring Leah's ball and tricycle so she has something to do. We'll have to see.

Yesterday was the only day that Stephan, Dallin and I could do something without Leah. I'd been wanting to do something with them for awhile but it never seems to work out. Yesterday it finally did. So we dropped Leah off at Kim's work and then the boys and I went to hike the Y trail. The Y trail is on the mountain to the east of BYU. It's only 2.4 miles total (up and back) but it's hard! It's really steep and there's about 11 switchbacks. We all wanted to see if exercising helped make the hike not so hard. Well after only 1 switchback I wanted to die! My legs were killing me and I was breathing hard. We stopped here and there (about ever other switchback), caught our breath, let our legs stop burning and then continued to the top. It was a hard hike! Way harder than I remembered...but it's been about 7 years since I've done that hike. Maybe longer. The view from the top was amazing. The boys kept saying how beautiful the view was as we were hiking.

One thing I did notice during the hike was that even though I had to stop for breaks and even though I was breathing heavy while we were hiking, when we stopped I recovered really quick. My legs weren't sore at all today either, even with my run this morning. I think exercising really helped with that. I really did think it would be easier after exercising 5-6 days a week but it still kicked my butt. I liked how quickly I recovered though. That make it really nice.

I loved getting out with my boys. Just being able to hang out with them. When Leah's around it's hard to have a conversation. She interrupts and wants to be a part of everything. I miss just being able to hang out and talk with them. It doesn't happen much at all. So yesterday was a treat. I appreciated my time with them and loved every minute of it. Next year Dallin will be graduating and going on a mission. Stephan could find a friend and move out any time. So I really, really appreciate memories like yesterday.

Afterwards we ate at El Azteca; hands down my favorite Mexican restaurant. I had a Fajita Scramble: potato, scrambled egg, chicken, onions, red/green peppers, cotija cheese and green sauce. It was AMAZING! I'm trying to pick something new and different every time I go there and I haven't been upset with any of my picks yet. This one came with 3 homemade corn tortillas. I ate WAY more than I should of but I was hungry from the hike and it was so good. The flavors in their food...just amazing! Dallin had carne asada nachos and Stephan had a carne asada burrito. Both liked their food a ton and almost finished all of their food-which says a lot because both of their orders were huge!

All in all it was a nice time. I really love my boys. They have grown into great young men that I'm proud of. Good friends, dependable, happy and for everything they've been through-really well adjusted! Not sure how much of it had to do with me or if it's just them coming of age. Either way I had a great time.

Feeling like a newbie

This last week I've started counting calories instead of doing WW. It's been really interesting. While I like it, there are things I really don't like about it at all. My main complaint: You have to count fruit and veggies. When I eat a banana it counts against my calories for the day. An apple too. And asparagus.  I don't think that's right. It would have kept me from eating those things when I was first starting to lose weight. So I've been kind of not counting them (only the ones I knew were 0 pts for WW). Other than that it's been really interesting to see how many calories I actually eat a day. And how much total sodium, carbs and sugar I eat daily. Very interesting.

I start training for my half marathon a week from tomorrow. I'm kind of dreading it but looking forward to it at the same time. I know how great I felt when I was training last summer. It was nice to have this plan in place, to know exactly what you're doing everyday and to be exercising so much. But at the same time I know how hard those 10 mile runs are. Or how hard it is at 5am to get a 4 mile run in. Or how much I missed CrossFit. Although right now I'm feeling kind of tired of CrossFit. I don't want to stop because I know how good it is for me to stay in shape but it will be nice to have something else to do.

My run with Brenna reminded me how much I liked the long runs. How nice it was to finish a run and think "Wow that was better than I thought." I'm excited to find new long run routes. To try to challenge myself and see if I can actually beat my last race time. That will be really hard because this route isn't as downhill as my first one so I'm going to have to train more for a regular route with some hills.

My run with Brenna also made me SO SORE! I was amazed. I thought for sure I'd run enough downhill that it wouldn't hurt. But that was 4 miles straight down with 1 mile after. I've been running Goosenest lately which is up and down. Then, to make matters worse, the next morning I did CrossFit. It was April Fool's Day and we thought the workout was a joke but it wasn't.

3 Rounds
Run 800m (2 laps/half mile)
30 kettlebells (2 0lbs)
30 burpees

It took me forever to do this and it hurt before I even finished. To make things EVEN worse I did some extra arm workouts. All that day I kept feeling so sore. By the next morning I could barely walk. So I had to take a day off from working out. I probably should have taken a day off Tuesday morning. Then I wouldn't have been so sore. But it reminded me of when I started working out and how sore I was all the time. To me that's a reminder that I'm using some part of my body that I don't usually use. I'm getting muscles in that area. I'm OK with that. I need all the help I can get.

Friday is my "fashion show." I'm excited but scared. I don't have to wear shorts. They'll have capris for me to wear under my shorts or I have a pair I'm bringing (in case they don't). I think it will be fun but I've been trying to do extra arm workouts so maybe my arms wouldn't be as flabby. I have a lot of extra skin on my arms, legs and stomach. I know that it will never go away but I'd like to get rid of it somewhat.

So Friday will be TOTALLY out of my element but it will be fun too. I'm looking forward to it...at the same time I'm worried about it. :-) Well just have to see how it goes.